What Happened to Decorum?

de·co·rum

noun

1. dignified propriety of behavior, speech, dress, etc.

So, maybe you don’t understand even this definition.  Basically, it’s taking the time to understand, respect and take part in proper behavior for the situation, location or culture you are in.  So, now that’s cleared up, what happened to it?

The United States’ culture that once was, in my opinion, overly “tight” and “stuffy” has gone to the other extreme in the general public.  The days of wearing a suit or dress everywhere are over.  Yes, kids, people pretty much used to wear a suit or a dress everywhere.  The days of treating a lady with proper respect have evolved to, treat a lady like everyone else; like they are not special.

Why am I writing this today, well I had a thought that maybe we need reminded that if we don’t teach our kids some sort of decorum, it will get lost completely.  You see we’ve gotten lazy over the years.  We’ve rebelled as well.  I still vividly recall my mother and a cute girl in 7th grade teaching me some basic decorum.  My mom noted that I should be patient and wait to open the door for a lady.  At the time I would bull over anyone in front of me so I could be first (YEAH!).  The cute girl told me to slow down because I walked too fast.  Walk with me, don’t pull me along like a dog!  Two simple examples of decorum.  Two examples of being taught to think of others first.

Do you teach your kids any basic “dignified propriety of behavior”?  Do you as a person perform any acts of decorum?  The way I see it, we are to love our neighbors as we love ourselves.  Certain acts of decorum can really reach into the heart of someone and make a difference.  Shouldn’t we teach our kids multiple ways to respect and show brotherly love toward their “neighbors”?

There’s a GREAT movie called, Take the Lead, in which Antonio Banderas teaches decorum in High School in the form of ball room dancing.  What’s fun is that he’s attempting to do it in the after school detention room.  It’s a great movie that at first may seem foreign to anyone under the age of 20.  Ballroom dancing?  Treating a lady with respect?  Not only do you learn about proper respect for a dancing partner, you see Banderas live out many other behaviors that have been lost in much of our culture.  WATCH this movie, it’s very entertaining and it drills in my point about decorum and how far we have drifted.

Remember, if you are a parent, you are on the hook to teach your children well (CSN&Y), to be a great example and to spend time learning things you may have missed in your own childhood.  Read up on the many forms of decorum, pick a few to drill into your own mind or your kids and see if it doesn’t make a difference.

Some simple ideas for you to try (especially you young men looking for love):

Open the car door for your date, getting in the car and out.  Wait and then close the door for her.  Offer your hand to help her out.

When a lady leaves or comes into your presence, stand and acknowledge her.  (i.e. to the dinner table or leaving the dinner table, into or out of the room)

Do not burp out loud or make other noises.  Politely leave the room.

Try dressing up in a suit or other formal attire for a special meal.  Encourage your date to dress up.  You will feel like a million bucks (you are worth it).

School Lunch Standards, what?

Congress fighting the proposed healthier school lunch standards to save money is very shortsighted and typical of a government who cannot see the big picture.  What is so difficult to understand? Unhealthy lunches have contributed to childhood obesity.  Healthcare costs for children will only increase and we know how cheap healthcare is today!  Oh, but wait, we want the government to help cover our healthcare.  Let’s think about this paradox.  The government wants to save money by continuing to feed unhealthy food to our kids AND the government wants to SPEND money to help pay for their healthcare.  Do you see a losing battle here? Ridiculous.  Let’s just burn money.

Here’s want needs done.

First, we need to permanently declassify tomato paste/sauce as a vegetable.  It’s a fruit, right?  Cheese pizza has no vegetables on it!  Second, we need to immediately adopt the higher school lunch standards which include the increased use of whole grains, fresh veggies, etc.
To pay for this perceived increased cost, buy in bulk and do the Wal-Mart thing.  Negotiate the price that you want. It’s simple economics…AND, best of all, once this program is in place healthy food prices will start to drop!  Again, it’s economics 101.  If people want to buy it, then they will buy it at the lowest cost available.  Companies will want their business, thus they will work to reduce costs.  Hopefully, we will then soon see processed, artificially enriched, no nutritional value food prices increase! (I’m not holding my breath)
Finally, here’s the diamond in the rough.  In ten years we can look back and see just how much money we have saved on healthcare.  We will potentially see much healthier kids actually running around instead of rolling around.  I can’t believe the number of little kids I see every day that are simple morbidly fat.  We can do better and it’s not that difficult to understand.

Acknowledgements:

Image: David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Here I am to Worship

Do you remember?  I do.  I think about you all often.  Where do you stand?

To the CUMC youth and volunteers of the Mexico Mission Trip 2004 & 2005 and BigStuf 2004.  Pass this on to those who went …

Light of the world

You stepped down into darkness.

Opened my eyes, let me see.

Beauty that made this heart adore You

Hope of a life spent with You

I love this song.  Do you remember it?  It’s powerful.  It’s challenging.  Do you HOPE?  Do you ADORE? 

Here I am to worship,

Here I am to bow down,

Here I am to say that You’re my God

You’re altogether lovely

All together worthy,

All together wonderful to me

Do you believe this?  Really?  What do you bow down to nowadays?  Do you feel the Spirit like you once did?  Is it all together lovely?  Worthy?  Do you say it?  Do you know it?  You’re my God?  Where are you today?  Do you still worship Him?

King of all days

oh, so highly exalted

Glorious in heaven above

Humbly You came

To the earth You created

All for love’s sake became poor

Have you learned humility?  Is God King of all days to you?

Here I am to worship,

Here I am to bow down,

Here I am to say that You’re my God

You’re altogether lovely

All together worthy,

All together wonderful to me

Do you really say it?  Here I am, Lord.  Here I am.  Where is the wonder?

I’ll never know how much it cost

To see my sin upon that cross

I’ll never know how much it cost

To see my sin upon that cross

I’ll never know how much it cost

To see my sin upon that cross

I’ll never know how much it cost

Do you even see sin?  Do you even think about the cost?  Your sin.  Your lies.  Your failure to worship.  Your selfishness.  Do you see it from your past?  I sure see mine.

Here I am to worship,

Here I am to bow down,

Here I am to say that You’re my God

You’re altogether lovely

All together worthy,

All together wonderful to me

I AM here to worship.  God IS worthy.  IS wonderful.  IS lovely.  Will you join me?  Join me again?

Here I am to worship,

Here I am to bow down,

Here I am to say that You’re my God

You’re altogether lovely

All together worthy,

All together wonderful to me

I will bow down to God.  He is MY God.  He is Yours.

I’ll never know how much it cost

to see my sins upon that cross—

I may never understand, but I will accept the gift.  Remember those days.  Remember the missions.  Remember the Spirit.  He is waiting.  Stay with him or begin to run back.  His arms are wide open.

BigStuf 2004 & 2005 links:

Click Here  (Scroll down to Ocean Floor Video)

Here I Am To Worship Lyrics

Artist(Band):Chris Tomlin

Debt, Debt, we all scream for Debt

As I head off to teach a class on Simplicity, I think of my crazy week of dealing with a credit card disputed charge, insurance for a roof replacement, a seven year old, duties associated with Cub Scouts, and many other little life issues.  Then, I read about the USA debt situation, yet again.

It’s the news of the day, isn’t it?  Debt.  We need the okay to go into more debt.  Does this seem odd at all?

First, I want to clarify that as a family the only debt we have is on our home.  We pay off our credit cards on time, we paid off our cars and that’s it.  No real debt.  Quite frankly, I would probably be insane dealing with life in general if I also had to deal with a lot of debt.  On that note, most Americans are in severe debt!  Hence, I think many Americans are probably slowly going insane.  What’s my proof?

Let’s look at the US government!  Ya know, if they hadn’t gone into huge debt in the first place, they wouldn’t have these problems, period!  Debt is bad.  We must live within our means.  That’s to say, don’t spend more than you make.  DUH!  They are nuts.

I think maybe we messed up whenever we shifted from paying in cash to using credit.  Used smartly credit can be a good thing.  I’ve eaten many a free meal, flown in some planes and stayed at some 5 star hotels for free all because I was willing to use a credit card.  The key was that I paid it off and have only paid what I actually spent with no interest charges.  I admit I’ve messed up and had a late payment or two, but that was simply because I’m not perfect and I forgot to pay on time!  I’m a guy after all.  Automatic payments have since eliminated that problem!  In the end, cash is the best way to go if you’ve struggled with debt!

I can’t say the same for the US government.  Spend within your means.  Save up for what you want to buy.  These are foreign concepts to our government nowadays.  It sets a horrendously bad example.  Think about this scenario.  I want to go to war.  I don’t have enough money.  So what!  I want to build a new fighter jet.  I don’t have enough money!  So what?  I want to pay for everyone’s healthcare.  I don’t have enough money!  So what?  NOW, replace those items with something from your life…  I want to put in a security system and hire a body guard.  I don’t have enough money!  So what?  I want to buy a new car.  I don’t have enough money!  So what?  I want to buy everyone in the restaurant dinner.  I don’t have enough money!  So what?

Would you really say, SO WHAT?  If not, then why in the world is it acceptable for the US government to say it?  Our debt problem has sunk this country.  It’s not imminent, it has already happened.  We are in a heap of trouble.

Our government is supposed to be “For the people and by the people”.  So what?

Do we really accept that?  Really?

All I know is that I will never again finance anything.  Once the house is paid off, the plan is to pay cash.  The good book is right in saying: “…the borrower is servant to the lender. ” (Prov 22:7 NIV)

Think about that.

P.S.  I love this country.  I can write how I feel and not live in fear.  I care deeply about this country and this whole debt issue has me very concerned.

Acknowledgement:

Image: renjith krishnan / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Church, Apples & Ideas

Get off your butt!  Get off your lazy butt!  What in the world are you doing?  I can hear these words being directed at me and at you.  I won’t sit by idly and ignore the prompting to call both you and me out.  What elegant pew sitters we have become!  Oh, the ways we justify our actions!

I give money to the church.  I know they are doing good things with it.  Therefore, I am off the hook!  … I worked in the church for ten years and now I am resting.  I did my part! … There is nothing for me to do!  Every ministry at my church is fully staffed! … WRONG!  ALL WRONG!

Let’s put it this way…show me in the Bible all the verses that support your thinking.  I’m waiting.  Still waiting.  I’ll be waiting a very long time.  We are to GO!  We are to DO!  We are to BE!

GO and make disciples of all nations

DO good deeds and works in the name of Jesus Christ

BE the Church

The Church is NOT a building.  The Church is a body of believers…THE body of believers.  The Church is NOT lazy, NOT full of excuses, NOT done working, NOT in need of rest & certainly NOT doing things solo.

There’s a great parable Jesus introduces about a tree that bears fruit.  The tree reflects our life.  Read DEEPLY my next statements.  SOAK them in.

Your life is like that sapling, that sprout, that new seed just starting to grow.  At first, there is NO fruit.  Heck, it couldn’t bear any fruit at such a young age, at such an immature time in your life!  God has prepared you to hold bushels of fruit!  As you have grown in your faith why do you only bear a few choice pieces of “available” fruit?  I say available because you ARE holding fruit…lots of it.  It’s just not appealing at all.  It’s rotten, worm infested or inscribed with your own initials.  Yes, much of your fruit is only available to yourself.  Are you following me?  You are selfish.  My fruit looks much the same.  Why?

We have this wonderful opportunity.  We have many branches of life.  We can reach out to many, many people.  Why do you quit on God?  Why do you even suggest that you CAN’T do it?  You can’t hold more apples?  Oh, so you feel you need to get rid of some choice fruit in order to bear more, huh?  So, you are saying that you have stopped growing?!?  How sad!  God tosses those wilted, unproductive branches into the fire.

Do you still have excuses?  Can I still sit back and watch hours of TV and then say I don’t have time to work for God?  Pitiful.  Truly pitiful.  My God is much bigger than my excuses, than my failures, than my own ideas.

I want my mind to be that of Christ.  I want my ideas to be godly.  You should want this too.  What is stopping you?  Put the DS down, the video game system in the trash, the romance novels, the TV shows, the innumerable kids activities, the “personal, selfish things that don’t matter, materialistic ways of this world” aside!  Yes, read that again, it’s a long sentence.

Here’s my idea…figuratively blow up the church so that The Church will be thrown out into the world where it’s supposed to be.  Prune that tree you call life and let it produce some fruit worthy of picking.  Bear some fruit that a lost person may want to pick.  Make God’s ideas, your ideas.  I think that’s a good place for me to start.  Are you in?

Acknowledgements:

Photo 1

Photo 2

Lost Wisdom

This idea of lost wisdom has been floating around in my head for a while, but it was a recent book I read that prompted me to finish this post.  I’m an avid basketball fan, and the Larry Bird / Magic Johnson era of NCAA/NBA basketball fed my own desire to play.  I read their recent book called When The Game Was Ours and Magic also dealt with what I’m thinking.

I don’t know when it first occurred, but it was definitely not the norm.  I was telling someone great advice and they weren’t listening.  I couldn’t shake the “This guy is an idiot” judgment out of my mind.  As I have aged, it seems more and more ears refuse to listen, or simply don’t care.  Why does this happen?  Is it a personality thing, or is it a pride thing?  Hmmm.

I must admit, I too am very good at not listening.  It wasn’t until around 2003 at the age of 30 that I realized my failing.  I started to wonder if 30 was the magic age where:

1)      You realize 100% that you are NOT a god and that you DON’T know everything.

2)      You realize people are starting to NOT listen to YOU.

It’s kind of like looking in a mirror.  The light turns on and you see yourself in other people.  Of course, this insight next drives you to want to turn that light off very quickly!  Has this happened to you?  Or have you missed it?

Magic Johnson felt much the same way during his final comeback in 1996.  He played the second half of the season with the Lakers and just couldn’t get anyone on board with his thinking.  We’re talking about Magic Johnson here, and people wouldn’t listen!  Nick Van Exel was called out among several other Lakers.  They didn’t want “Show Time” basketball, and they ended up losing.

Backing up a year or so, Magic actually coached a few games for the Lakers in 1994.  Again, he could not get his players to listen.  So, he grabbed a couple players who were listening and the other coaches and they suited up and spanked the starters in practice pick-up games.  Guess what?  They still didn’t listen!  I keep thinking back to my thought of “This guy is an idiot”.  Why, oh, why do we NOT listen to the wisdom of people who have “been there and done that”?

I decided recently that I’m not too proud to watch a “How to” video on Youtube about performing solid basketball post up moves.  In the past, I would have been too good for that.

I wonder how much LOST WISDOM is floating around out there just waiting to be absorbed.  Hopefully, you know the idea that bad events in history WILL be repeated if we don’t study history?  We must learn what others know.  It’s a shame to waste all that experience.

Acknowledgements:  Image: photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

What’s in a Commandment? #10 – Coveting

How many of you were just waiting and waiting and wanting to read this last post of the Ten Commandments?  Come on. Were you coveting this post?  If you were, please reconsider your day job.  :)

10. You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.

In a nutshell, we aren’t supposed to sit around thinking about what someone else has, you know the phrase, “Keeping up with the Jones”?  They have it, we want it, we go out and buy something to make ourselves feel good…we can now say we have it too!  Doesn’t this stem from coveting or wanting what our “neighbor” has?  Do you like their new pool?  How about that new lawnmower?  We know it’s wrong to steal (we talked about that commandment already), so coveting doesn’t get the job done.  We head out and buy something and this fills the void until we covet again.

We all know that having strong desires can lead to murder, stealing, lying etc.  Coveting kind of falls into the “pre-existing” condition category of many other sins.  When we covet what someone else has, it can lead to all sorts of bad actions.

What’s in a Commandment? #9 Lying

Liar, Liar pants on fire…okay, really, why are the pants on fire? [Revelation 21:8 explains that]

The 9th commandment seems pretty simple.  At face value, we shouldn’t give false testimony against our fellow members of society.  We shouldn’t lie about them to another person!  This commandment has easily been applied to lying in general being wrong, rightly so.

How about those little white lies or what you say when talking to a child, you know, protecting a child from hearing what you don’t want to tell them…?  Here’s an idea.  DON’T TELL THEM or simply say THEY ARE TOO YOUNG TO UNDERSTAND.  Why lie in place of a truthful explanation????

Is there really a situation where lying is the only option?  Is it ever the BEST option?

Okay, a classic white lie revolves around relationships.

< Am I fat?

< Do I look good in this dress?

< Honey, was it good for you?

How do you answer these questions?  Should you lie to make someone feel good?  Let’s think of the many incredibly disappointed singers that finally got an honest answer at the hands of Simon Cowell on American Idol.  Do those white lies add up and one day cause great emotional harm when the person finally hears the truth?  Some of those singers were awful (some of it was staged) but in the end some of them truly felt they were good because many people lied to them.  You have to figure out the best way to handle life’s questions on your own.  I’m just saying that lying is the EASY way out and it’s wrong.  In the end, lying can do nothing but cause problems or pain.

9. You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor

Bible.com also writes a good explanation on this topic:

http://206.135.15.32/answers/alying.html