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An “Annoying” Day

I was out the other day and ran into my buddy Michael.  I had traveled to Galveston, TX and found him just sitting on the curb mumbling something about Hoosiers.  It reminded me of a time when I too didn’t have “all my ducks in a row” and I just couldn’t “give it 110%”.  So, I decided to have a talk with him.  I tell ya, he spoke a mile a minute and I couldn’t quite keep up with everything he said.  I did hear something about Galveston and Indiana, but really, as soon as the 3 year old on a leash pulling his mom down the sidewalk screamed at me, I didn’t hear much more of what Michael said.  I mean, come on, don’t people know that those leashes strain a child’s back and have been known to create angry children.  I just know those leashes are the cause of all the increase in crime, especially if the leashes are yellow.   I really know about this stuff; I read a book.  Well, I looked back at Mike and he waved me off so I left him to ponder life as I headed down the road, ready to show the world “my A-game”.

Amazingly, I ran into two more friends, Leslie and Rachel!  Apparently, while driving to Texas, they kept on getting passed by the same church bus over and over.  “This ain’t no Texas Tango”, they had thought.  Leslie was sure their bus cruise control must have been messed up so they followed them to Texas just to let them know.  Of course, Rachel’s cell phone kept buzzing and ringing and doing flips the whole trip.  “Sheesh! How much junk e-mail can I get?!?”, Rachel said.  Leslie sighed.  In the end, there was a nice email from a company that sells bubble gum in Texas.  Go figure.

Well, Leslie and Rachel finally had gotten that bus to pull over in Galveston, TX where they met the nice old driver.  Leslie said the man must have had two packs of gum in his mouth.  Rachel about passed out.  The next thing that happened was quite unique.

As we all left to head back home, amazingly, two more friends appeared out of nowhere!  Melissa and Jannell needed a ride back home and they wouldn’t elaborate on why they were in Texas with no ride.  Maybe they were running away from all that junk e-mail.  So, off we went.  This is where the story gets weird.

I’m pulling onto the interstate and three cars ahead of me slow down more and more.  Jannell starts screaming from the backseat, “Merge!”, “Merge!” and I about have a heart attack.  Melissa opens the window and starts yelling at some impatient teen drivers behind me since they’re now tailgating me thinking “I AM” the one choosing to go slow.  I turn the radio up and send a text message to Jannell to be quiet.  I just know my friend Jeff would have a hey-day if he knew I sent that text message to the back seat.

We finally get back to good ole Indiana.  It’s funny how I found Michael in my trunk mumbling something about Galveston, Indiana.  I can’t seem to get through to him, so I sent him a text message too.

As I approach Greenwood, I see a large crowd outside an abortion clinic of all places.  I see my friend’s Rhonda and Aaron there too.  I didn’t know I had this many friends!  Anyway, Aaron is just sitting there shaking his head.  He sees me and points to a sign someone is holding.  It states: “I’m Pro-Choice, but Anti-Abortion”.  I shake my head too.  Just then I get 15 messages at the same time on my phone.  ALL junk e-mail.  Good grief!  Hey, one is titled, “Looking for an easy $50K?”, Rhonda grabs my phone and screams at it.  “Get a real job!”, “Get a real job!”.  I open the message and it’s an ad for how to get free foods stamps.  Rhonda faints.

As I stand there recalling my day, I look around.  Michael is mumbling “Think outside the box” while staring at his phone.  Aaron keeps shaking his head and Rhonda has now created a sign saying, “Just say no to laziness!”.  Leslie has stomped on her phone, and Rachel is now chewing a full pack of gum and keeps saying, “I like gum, don’t you”.  Melissa is kicking in the side of a car (looks like the one the teens were driving) and Jannell has a crowd around her as she keeps saying, “use your turn signal and find a way!”  It’s been an interesting day.  I decide to sit next to my friend Jeff to chat and then decide to do some text messaging.  I think, “Man my thumbs hurt” as I see two kids on a double leash pulling their dad past me on the sidewalk.

[Thanks to Michael, Leslie, Rachel, Melissa, Jannell, Rhonda, Jeff & Aaron for the help and for being good sports!]

Some relevant pet peeve related links – Enjoy!:

Learn all the best business cliches!

Tailgating Criteria!

How to merge into traffic!

Lazy? Fix it!

The junk e-mail problem

Gum chewing etiquette

Will texting take over talking?

THE Pro-choice Anti-Abortion group – not for kids

One opinion on child leashes

Sound like an expert talking about anything!

And…photo acknowledgements:

Image: Michal Marcol / FreeDigitalPhotos.net


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